A few things I’ve learned about love

Tomorrow is Erika’s wedding day. She’s one of the most talented, kind-hearted women I’ve worked with at MadeComfy, someone I’ve admired quietly for her grace, drive, and sense of self.

I wanted to give her a gift. Not a wrapped one, but something from the heart. A note. A reflection. Maybe even a piece of advice. But then I paused, who am I to give marriage advice? My marriage has been far from perfect. I am certainly not the perfect wife. There’s so much I’m still learning.

But then again, maybe that’s exactly why it matters. I can only speak from where I stand, not from a pedestal, but from the middle of it all. The realness of it. So, Erika, this one’s for you.

Marriage, to me, isn’t built only on love. Love is the spark, but it’s not always the fuel. What has kept us going through highs, lows, new places, and new babies  is having a shared vision. A “why” that we both believe in. Something to move toward, together. It’s not always romantic or grand. Sometimes it looks like scheduling who picks up the groceries or holding space for each other’s dreams, even when life gets chaotic. Especially then.

Right now, I’m deep in the season of raising small children. And it changes everything. The time, energy, and attention once available for other parts of life (including your relationship) get pulled toward this beautiful, demanding new center. Some days I miss the woman I used to be. Some days I miss the us we used to be. And that’s okay.

So here’s a gentle invitation: use these early years together, just the two of you, to build a foundation of memories, trust, and laughter. Fill that emotional bank account with shared adventures, conversations, quiet mornings, and maybe even silly fights that end in connection. It will carry you when time feels tight later on.

And here’s something I’m still learning myself: the bedrock of any lasting relationship is communication. It’s not just about talking when things are tough,  it’s about building that habit of open, honest conversation when things are good, too. If you ever need to read a book or seek guidance, it’s worth every effort. Because strong communication is the bridge that will help you walk through the hard times and emerge even stronger. It’s truly worth investing in.

A few more things I’ve learned (or am still learning):

Respect isn’t optional. It’s the quiet language of love.

Your partner doesn’t belong to you; he’s a person with dreams and edges and evolution. Cheer him on.

Don’t get distracted. The kind of loyalty that says, “I see you, and only you”  that’s powerful. Protect it.

Give each other space. You’re two whole people, not two halves. Friendships, passions, and solo time matter.

Keep your own dreams alive. Codependency isn’t connection.

And above all, enjoy it. Life is messy and unpredictable, but joy is always worth chasing.

I hope tomorrow is everything you imagined, and more. That your dress feels like you, that the music hits just right, and that you’re surrounded by love. I’ll be thinking of you as you begin this next chapter.

Here’s to a love that evolves, a bond that strengthens, and a partnership built not on perfection, but presence.

Lots of love, 

Sabrina X

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