#12.When fear pretends to be respect

I was reminded today of my time at Brownes Dairy, around 2012, when the company had just been acquired by Archer Capital. We were in the middle of a complete transformation. I was head of finance and management accounting, leading a large team and working closely with the sales director, a woman who, like me, had come from a large FMCG.

We inherited a legacy team. Many had been there for years, deeply ingrained in the old way of doing things. Our task was to evolve the business post-acquisition, and her approach was to lead through fear. She kept her distance, delivered cutting comments, and set a tone of passive aggressiveness. The team was scared of her.

One day, we were walking together from the boardroom to the auditorium for her presentation on sales goals. Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said, “Do you think it’s positive that people are scared of me?” She was serious.

At the time, I avoided answering. I knew it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t yet have the words to explain why.

Now, I do.

Fear might drive compliance in the short term, but it never builds lasting commitment. I’ve seen what happens when people trust you, when they feel respected, valued, and included in the bigger picture. They will go above and beyond, give their time and energy freely, protect you, and rally for the cause. They will stay late, not because they have to, but because they want to.

Fear, on the other hand, breeds detachment. Talented people eventually realise they have options beyond those walls. They begin to clock-watch, disengage, and look for the exit. In places like Australia, where opportunity is abundant, fear is an even shorter-lived strategy.

If I could answer her now, I would say, “You’ll go further and achieve more when you lead with vision, not intimidation.” Show the team where we’re going. Invite them into the journey. Let them shape the vision alongside you.‍

‍Have you ever mistaken fear for respect in leadership? And how did you realise the difference?

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